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CarbonXtreme . Midland Helicopters . HeliProz

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Off Topics Jokes-Puzzles-Riddles > Farting
 
 
MRMOOG
Heliman
Location: Underneath a Blonde Bimbo

**IF THIS STORY DOESN'T MAKE YOU CRY FOR LAUGHING SO HARD, LET ME
KNOW AND I'LL PRAY FOR YOU.*

THE ONLY FRICTION IN THEIR MARRIAGE WAS THE HUSBAND'S HABIT OF
FARTING LOUDLY EVERY MORNING WHEN HE AWOKE. THE NOISE WOULD WAKE HIS WIFE AND THE SMELL WOULD MAKE HER EYES WATER AND MAKE HER GASP FOR AIR.
EVERY MORNING SHE WOULD PLEAD WITH HIM TO STOP RIPPING THEM OFF
BECAUSE IT WAS MAKING HER SICK. HE TOLD HER HE COULDN'T.STOP IT AND THAT IT WAS PERFECTLY NATURAL. SHE TOLD HIM TO SEE A DOCTOR, SHE WAS CONCERNED THAT ONE DAY HE WOULD BLOW HIS GUTS OUT.*
THE YEARS WENT BY AND HE CONTINUED TO RIP THEM OUT. THEN ONE*
CHRISTMAS DAY MORNING, AS SHE WAS PREPARING THE TURKEY FOR DINNER AND HE WAS UPSTAIRS SOUND ASLEEP, SHE LOOKED AT THE INNARDS*,* NECK, GIZZARD, LIVER AND ALL THE SPARE PARTS, AND A MALICIOUS THOUGHT CAME TO HER.
SHE TOOK THE BOWL AND WENT UPSTAIRS WHERE HER HUSBAND WAS SOUND
ASLEEP AND, GENTLY PULLING THE BED COVERS BACK, SHE PULLED BACK THE ELASTIC WAISTBAND OF HIS UNDERPANTS AND EMPTIED THE BOWL OF TURKEY GUTS INTO HIS SHORTS SOME TIME LATER SHE HEARD HER HUSBAND WAKEN WITH HIS USUAL TRUMPETING WHICH WAS FOLLOWED BY A BLOOD CURDLING SCREAM AND THE SOUND OF FRANTIC FOOT STEPS AS HE RAN INTO THE BATH ROOM. THE WIFE COULD HARDLY CONTROL HERSELF AS SHE ROLLED ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING, TEARS IN HER EYES! AFTER YEARS OF TORTURE SHE RECKONED SHE HAD GOT HIM BACK PRETTY GOOD.
ABOUT TWENTY MINUTES LATER, HER HUSBAND CAME DOWNSTAIRS IN HIS BLOODSTAINED UNDERPANTS WITH A LOOK OF HORROR ON HIS FACE. SHE BIT HER LIP AS SHE ASKED HIM WHAT WAS THE MATTER.*
HE SAID, "HONEY YOU WERE RIGHT." "ALL THESE YEARS YOU HAVE WARNED
ME AND I DIDN'T LISTEN TO YOU".
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN?" ASKED HIS WIFE.
"WELL, YOU ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT ONE DAY I WOULD END UP FARTING MY
GUTS OUT, AND TODAY IT FINALLY HAPPENED."*
BUT BY THE GRACE OF GOD, WITH SOME VASELINE AND TWO FINGERS. I
THINK I GOT MOST OF THEM BACK IN."

Alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell you did with your bra and panties.....Burrp!!
06-09-2008 07:17 AM
 
 
Below Average
Senior Heliman
Location: Sat Down

LOL..... where do you get them from

A true contender for the funniest person on RR. (Next to myself that is)

How was I to know she had a wooden leg
06-09-2008 10:32 PM
HOMEPAGE  
 
 
vinver
Heliman
Location: Enfield,NS Canada

Please pray for me.

Urg
06-09-2008 10:34 PM
 
 
Below Average
Senior Heliman
Location: Sat Down

Quote 
Please pray for me

I would 'vinver' but you wouldn't get it

How was I to know she had a wooden leg
06-09-2008 10:36 PM
HOMEPAGE  
 
 
vinver
Heliman
Location: Enfield,NS Canada

Alright, there were a few really funny parts:
A guy that lets a girl in his shorts without waking up.
A woman that gets up early in the morning to make supper and let her husband sleep in.
A woman who rolls on the floor laughing about anything to do with farting.
A marriage where farting is the only source of friction.
Actually, sounds like a pretty ideal relationship, the wife even seems to have a sense of humour. Now that's FUNNY!
Ha Ha.
Early in our courtship my wife complained once about the same thing, I was fool enough to complain her feet smelled. Now she sleeps the other way with her head on the pillow.
06-10-2008 06:05 AM
 
 
MRMOOG
Heliman
Location: Underneath a Blonde Bimbo

Sorry but i just don't get it, but still, well done for trying vinver

Alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell you did with your bra and panties.....Burrp!!
06-10-2008 09:06 AM
 
 
vinver
Heliman
Location: Enfield,NS Canada

Must be like the blue brick jokes, either get it or don't.
06-11-2008 06:03 PM
 
 
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Off Topics Jokes-Puzzles-Riddles > Farting
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